REFLECTION.....

As I set here tonight, sleep will not come to me, so I am using this time to reflect. I remember right after Ashley passed on, I noticed new knowledge and grants being announced for EE and EOS. Each time I would see this, I would feel so happy, yet grief overtakes me and I feel so sad that Ashley isn't around to celebrate with me. It is so bittersweet! I want to cry but I can't. I do spend a lot of time reflecting on her strengths and specialties. She was such a beautiful and loving girl. She had a heart of gold. I know her spirit is out there helping each child who is suffering like she did. I can see her come up behind the little ones and grabbing their shoulders and saying "I am doing what I can to help you!". She would probably be a little shy with the older EOS teens, especially if they were bigger than her.
Facebook has been a huge support system for me before and after her death. Everyone has been so kind and supportive. I don't know how I would've handled it without everyone, especially the EOS families.
There are days I can't read Facebook because it really gets me down to see all the kids suffering so much. Then there are other days that I have great strength and read every post. I feel so strongly about keeping these kids positive and want to do what I can do to help. Life is too short, we all need to do what makes us happy and continue to educate everyone we touch. The more people know about this disorder, the better it will be for the kids who suffer with it. I still think the hardest part of the whole disorder is getting the schools to understand. Ashley tried to be so strong everyday and fit in and she just wasn't able to. I miss her terribly and have trouble seeing the future at times. I know there is a lot for me to do, and I am ready!